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The Great Web3 Drama 🤺
There’s a big web3 debate taking place in the cryptoverse right now, and a lot of drama - so I wrote a play to help you break down what’s happening.
Imagine the key players in the space hanging out at a bar, exposing both sides of the argument for and against, in plain language.
Disclaimer: This is a caricatured, fictional conversation inspired by the real thing.
Lets go! 👇
Setting the scene
Jack Doorsee and Moxiella Marlinspykee enter the bar.
In front of them, sitting on a sofa - Balajisus and Hodor Poleg sip on piña coladas.
By their side, Paco McCormick and Navalum Ravikantum are watching a Free Britney documentary.
Christos Dixonakis and Marco Andreesanchez, wearing matching pink cryptokitties hoodies, are playing ping pong by the bar.
Outside, Professor Galileoway smokes his pipe, stroking his pet turtle "WAGMI", whispering something about fake news.
[Jack 🚪👀] - I’m tired of this sh*t. Web3 is disingenuous, it has the same incentives as web2 and preys on people’s belief that it isn’t. You are just making rich people richer, like always!
[Balajisus 🙏] - Jack, chill out. It’s early days - at least incentives are being openly talked about and fought for. I love you man but you are acting a tiny bit like a hypocrite.
[Jack 🚪👀] - Whatever, you are wrong. Bitcoin is the only way.
[Balajisus 🙏] - You see Jack, Twitter started as a protocol, presumably the free speech wing of a free speech party. Then different political & corporate incentives led to deplatforming and censorship - not cool. Web3 offers the possibility, not guarantee, of something much better.
[Christos Dixonakis 🇬🇷] - Yeah Jack, its all about read-write-own!
[Jack 🚪👀] - Christos, look what I painted for you, floor price 1.5 ETH on OpenSea, interested?
[Jack 🚪👀] - If you didn’t get the reference, I’m telling you that traditional “crypto” - everything from dApps, social tokens, NFTs and DeFi - are all a disingenuous narrative made up by VCs in an attempt to fool the populace. That’s not decentralisation fren (crypto slang for friend).
[Moxiella 🦖] - Yeah, to be honest - look at the code. This stuff is nowhere near as decentralised as you’d think. I just ran an NFT experiment that turned my art into poop depending on what platform / wallet I open it in. See?
[Moxiella 🦖] - Also, OpenSea decided to pull down my NFT from OpenSea (for breaching terms of services), and it disappeared from my wallet! How’s that different from Twitter deplatforming someone?? So much for decentralization…
[Hodor Poleg 🧔🏻🚪] - Hmm, you are not really showing how the invisible sausage is made… Sure, your hard earned NFT doesn’t show up on your wallet - the app's architecture and the API it relies on is a real limitation right now. BUT just because it doesn’t show up in your wallet does not mean it does not exist, you are still the owner! If you use a different app that checks the status of your NFT directly on the blockchain, you’ll see it. Look I found it on Rarible! ;)
[Paco McCormick 🥘 - calmly putting his beer down on the table] - Guys I’m an expert debater, and what you are doing is BS. You are fighting the “definition battle”.
I thought we were talking about whether web3 is good or not!
Now you are subtly shifting gears into “Web3 is more centralised than it appears to be, which is bad”. Not cool lads, lets keep our eye on the ball yeah?
[Hodor Poleg 🧔🏻🚪] On that point, I don’t think web3 will be more just or equitable or even more free by default than web2. But I think it may offer the possibility of increasing our freedom and agency! Therefore, I’d argue its potentially net positive for society.
[Uninvited, Professor Galileoway enters the room][Professor Galileoway 🔭]- Gentlemen, are we discussing that vaguely described so-called crypto-powered internet? Nonsense yogababble that is!
[Smokes pipe]
[Professor Galileoway 🔭] - Sure, smart contracts could reduce agency costs and iron systemic biases out of the process. But does the sound match the words? I think not!
All this web3 infrastructure is predicated on the existence of entities that act as middlemen. Many popular dApps (decentralised apps) rely on something called Infura. This stuff provides “ETH nodes as a service.” There’s a bunch like this (Alchemy, Moralis etc). Do you think people want to run their own servers and/or write their own code every time they want to buy a loaf of bread? LOL, I think not! [smokes pipe].
[Moxiella 🦖] - Yo professor, have you been reading my stuff…?
[Paco McCormick 🥘] - I’m calling BS on that, strawman argument. I’m also surprised you forgot to mention Christos and Marco here led Alchemy’s Series C round at a $3.5 billion valuation. If you were in my debate team I’d be pretty mad [sips beer].
[Marco Andreessanchez 🌮] - Alright Paco that’s it you’re blocked, you too Jack.
[Paco McCormick 🥘] - Anyway, this debate is kind of dumb. Some stuff should be centralised, some shouldn’t. At the end of the day mate, everything is about trade-offs. Let’s keep it constructive yeah?
[Navalum Ravikantum 🏛️] - Guys I ordered some burritos. I agree with Paco - we should talk about wether web3 is net positive for society, not wether its more or less decentralized.
[Professor Galileoway 🔭] - No sir, we ARE debating decentralisation, because you yourself claim it to be a core component of web3. Furthermore, web3 has done nothing but to recentralize power in the hands of fewer! Look at these numbers, 2% of accounts own 95% of Bitcoin, its irrefutable.
[Paco McCormick 🥘 - talking to Navalum] - Hold my beer.
[Paco McCormick 🥘] - First, decentralisation is a component of web3, it is not the key feature. Second, those numbers are BS, its actually 71.5% (Glassnode uncovered it last February). I agree with you, its not ideal - but lets get the facts right. Also, your pal Jack here just hid in the corner because he knows his company Block owns a good chunk of that 2% by the way.
[Professor Galileoway 🔭] - Agree to disagree. This is all a coachella for fraud, look at what happened with that ConstitutionDAO - the founders weren’t even able to setup a proper governance model.
[Paco McCormick 🥘] - Hmm don’t think that’s true. They had governance options on the table and were planning to progressively decentralise. They literally ran this from idea to auction in 7 days…
[Professor Galileoway 🔭] - Ok, lets assume you are right. Lets say web3 manages to increase investment opportunities to previously excluded communities. What do you think is going to happen when those vulnerable communities get hit the hardest by hacks and fraud?
[The Burrito delivery human opens the door, hears Professor Galileoway and says] - You mean like the 2008 crisis when we the vulnerable got royally eff’d by a handful of greedy bankers who not only did not pay any price for failing to fulfill their duties, but got richer as a result? Or do you mean stuff like Axie Infinity, which I hear has been providing a living to millions of disconnected people in the Philippines throughout the COVID-19 crisis?
[Professor Galileoway 🔭] - Whatever, that is besides the point. Switching gears, can you really trust a movement that is fundamentally against regulation of any kind?
[Balajisus 🙏] - My friend Brian at Coinbase doesn’t think so bro. They’re working real hard to make smart regulation work for everyone. Don’t think there’s many people here against regulating crypto… Just needs to be done thoughtfully.
[Professor Galileoway 🔭] - Yeah, real constructive dialogue… Can you even be more centralised than Coinbase?
[Paco McCormick 🥘 - rolls eyes] - Again, stop shifting the argument away from wether web3 is good or bad towards more or less decentralized please…
[Balajisus 🙏] - have you seen our investment in Uniswap? It’s a decentralized exchange!
[Christos Dixonakis 🇬🇷] - I thought I sent you a copy of The Economist? I wrote about this fren! Sensible regulation is good 👍. WAGMI!
[Marco Andreessanchez 🌮] - Just posted this on my blog, didn’t you see?
We are radically optimistic about the potential of web3 to restore trust in institutions and expand access to opportunity. But realizing that potential depends on smart policy. Good regulation establishes a framework for how innovation can benefit society while managing the real risks that might otherwise harm consumers. It’s time to define that vision.
[Jack 🚪👀] - Should we take 5’ to meditate?
[Professor Galileoway 🔭] - Don’t you guys see how ironic it is that OpenSea charges 2.5% on every transaction, and you stand there arguing for web3 as the cure for global inequality?
[Paco McCormick 🥘] - Early days, and hardly a monopoly. Also, there’s competition that pops up all the time. Have you checked out how LooksRare bootstrapped demand with an airdrop? They’re stealing whales from OpenSea.
[Balajisus 🙏] - You also gotta think a lot of these “successes” have been brewing up for a while and started during crypto winter a few years ago - where you had to put a lot of skin in the game for anything to get built…
[Paco McCormick 🥘] - Again, I think you are missing the point professor. More or less decentralisation is not at the core of web3. The point is that, in web 3, data is open - builders and users have choice - and ownership is part of the conversation!
[Moxiella 🦖]- I need a drink.
And they all agreed that web3 is about a shift in internet culture that attempts to put more power in the hands of builders and users. Wether it succeeds remains to be seen, but they all agreed to have more productive and nuanced conversations ever after.
THE END.
Bibliography:
The web3 detabe - Packy McCormick
My first impressions on web3 - Moxie Marlinspike
Web3 - Professor Galloway
You Don’t Own Web3 - Fais Khan
Unpacking the web3 sausage - Dror Poleg
The Future of Crypto - The Economist, Chris Dixon and Packy McCormick